Credits: the inspiration for this story came partly from "My Other Life", by Chuck Rothman; and was heavily influenced by "Anachron", by Damon Knight.
***
Toby was scared of death, and ultimately that was the cause.
***
Toby put the rat into the little clear perspex cubicle, put on his goggles, and pressed "duplicate". An exact copy of the rat appeared in the other cubicle.
He did this another nineteen times, giving twenty identical rats, which is what the scientists needed for their bio experiments the next day. Identical rats were preferable for the scientists because it made their experiments somewhat repeatable. It's the difference between dropping a piece of paper in the air twenty times in reality, and doing it twenty times in the computer game Armadillo Run. In the latter case, each piece of paper falls in the same way every time, floats from side to side chaotically, but identically to the last time.
Toby was thirty-five. Soon he would be thirty six. After that he'd be thirty-seven. He'd had thirty-five birthdays, and each one had made him one year older. His next birthday was tomorrow. Another year older, another year closer to ...
He looked at the clear perspex box. Well, it was worth a try.
***
The perspex was difficult to cut and fit together, but there it was: a man sized duplication box.
He stepped inside. It was his birthday tomorrow. Thirty-six. A copy of himself, maybe that would change nothing, but he had no other ideas. How could he escape death?
He pulled a small thread, which pulled a lever, which activated the duplication mechanism, and a copy of himself appeared in the other container.
***
Toby's copy opened the box. He came around to Toby. His copy said, "You've done it now."
Toby said, "You're me. You're my copy."
"It's not so simple."
"You're my way out."
"I know."
"If I die you're still alive."
"Yes."
"But you're not me."
"Not any more."
Toby looked at his copy. Now what? He hadn't really thought this through very far.
Toby said, "I didn't really think this would work."
"Well, it did."
"I need to undo this."
"There are two ways of doing that."
"What do you mean?"
"I am you too."
Toby's eyes opened wide. He glanced around the lab, looking for weapons. His copy saw him and followed his eyes around, doing the same thing.
This was a nightmare. Maybe he would just wake up.
His copy said, "You know, we could just go through with this."
"It's utterly illegal."
"It's a bit late."
"Yes."
Toby continued to look around the lab. He was a fucking lab technician, how was he supposed to know the machine was actually going to work? They should have limits on these things, so that people like him couldn't just accidentally clone himself.
Maybe he could sue the laboratory for giving him access to a people cloner?
There were some scissors on the labtop to his left. He glanced at them a couple of times, trying not to be seen, trying to glance around to other bits of the lab. His copy saw them too and ran for them. They got to them at about the same time, but his copy was quicker. His copy grabbed them. The copy held the handles in the palm of it's hand, with the blades pointed towards Tony. The copy lunged. Toby put his arm up to block. He misjudged the block slightly, and the blades plunged into his arm.
Toby shouted, "Ow, fuck!" He brought his right hand around into a fist and threw the fist into the left side of his clone's head, striking the ear.
The clone smiled victoriously and withdrew the scissors. He lunged for Toby's eyes. Toby moved his head sideways, and grabbed the clone by the throat with both hands. The clone pulled his hand back to lunge again. Toby used his left arm to push the clone's right arm away, then jabbed the clone's eyes with the fingers of his right hand.
The clone pulled back, "Fuck! My eyes".
***
Toby and the clone lay weakly on the floor. Their clothing was ripped and bloodied. They lay next to each other looking at each other, mutual surrender, mutual defeat, mutual acceptance that this wasn't going to work.
Toby said, "You don't have the guts to kill me."
"And you me."
"This is utterly illegal."
"If we're found out..."
"You need a name."
"We both need a name."
Toby looked at the clone in the eyes. He said, "Fair enough."
"Other people call us Toby. You are T1 and I am T2."
"Ok. Good to meet you T2."
"We'll see about that T1."
"We can share my job."
"And my girlfriend."
"Our girlfriend."
"Our girlfriend."
Toby said, "Should we tell Celine?"
"How are we going to organize this?"
"We could both stay with her at the same time."
"That'd freak her out."
"Like having two identical boyfriends wouldn't freak her out anyway?"
"Let's not tell her."
"That'll never work."
"Let's try."
"Ok."
"We'd better get ourselves cleaned up."
Toby looked down at his bloody ripped lab coat. "Alright, let's go."
"Not together. I'll go first."
"Alright."
"Maybe we should clean ourselves up here?"
"If someone comes in right now, what are we going to say? The rats attacked us?"
"We'd better take the perspex box down too."
***
T1 and T2 looked around the lab. T1 said, "Nice work T2!"
T2 looked around, "Yeah, back in business."
T1 said, "Right, you go to a hotel tonight, and I'll see you in the morning."
"Let's toss for it."
"I get Celine tonight."
"We can fight about it."
T1 looked up, "Fine. You have a coin?"
"Yeah." T2 brought a coin from his pocket, showed it to T1 then put his hands behind his back. He brought them forward. "Pick one. The one with the coin gets Celine."
T1 thought, this is crazy. It's my thirty-sixth birthday tomorrow, I'm dieing, ok in thirty years, but still, now I have to share my fucking girlfriend with a fucking freaky clone. What is going on? He pinched himself on the thigh, but didn't wake up. Unless that was part of his nightmare of course...
T1 looked at T2's hands. One was slightly in front. If it was him, he'd have put the coin in the one slightly behind, but then T2 knew that if it was him...
T1 picked the one on his left. T2 opened both hands. The coin was in the one on T1's right.
T2 said, "You get the hotel T1. I get to fuck Celine."
T1 had been going out with Celine, fucking her, for six years. It was a normal part of his life. He hadn't fucked her for four weeks, it hadn't seemed important. She was his. He'd already fucked her hundreds of times. He felt sick inside, he wanted to vomit, to throw up, to wake from this hideous experience.
T1 looked at T2. T1's face was pale, drained of color. T1 said, "Be nice to her T2."
T2 said, "Oh I will, I will."
T1 threw himself at T2 in a rage. "You fucking cunt." He kneed T2 in the groin and shoved T2 backwards on the floor. "I'm going to fucking kill you." He slammed his fist into T2's face, undoing their clean-up work of the last hour.
T2 pushed T1 off him, and threw himself on top of T1, pinning T1 against the floor. T1 flailed his arms futily.
T2 said, "Listen you fuck. You made me. Deal with it. I fuck Celine tonight. You fuck her tomorrow. That's the deal." T2 slapped T1 on the face. "That's the fucking deal."
T1 nodded weakly, "Ok, ok, it's just.... For fuck's sake she's my fucking wife. How'd you feel?"
T2 said, "I'm sure I'll find out tomorrow." He pulled himself away from T1.
T1 lay there weakly. He said, "You're me, I'm you. This is crazy."
T2 said, "Yeah. Let's clean up. Again."
***
Night one.
T2 unlocked the door to Celine's flat, and walked in. He shook the rain off over the mat, and peeled off his sodden waterproof. He put the soaking umbrella in the corner.
Celine called out "Darling. Remember not to leave the umbrella dripping in the corner."
"Yes dear", T2 called resignedly. He picked up the dripping umbrella and walked through the corridor with it to the lounge.
Celine turned to him, "Hi Toby. I just finished making some cobbles for dinner." She took the umbrella off him.
T2 said, "Thanks Celine. That's my favorite."
Celine opened the glass door to the balcony, opened the umbrella, and placed it to dry. She came back in and closed the door behind her.
Celine walked up to T2, stood against him and looked up into his face. She said "How was your day Toby?"
T2 said, "Yes. It was... interesting. How are your families?"
"Donna Smith had a row with her boyfriend today. He threw the tv out of the window into the garden of the housing estate. She ran out crying with the baby. She's staying overnight in the care centre. What happened today Toby?"
Toby said, "I'm really glad to see you." He pulled back from her embrace slightly and looked into her eyes. He said, "Let's make love."
"Toby! You are so bad."
He pulled her to him and kissed her.
She said, "The cobbles will get cold."
T2 put his hands on her butt and massaged, ran his middle finger up the crack of her butt. Celine put her tongue into his mouth and moaned softly with pleasure.
***
T1 walked through the pouring rain to the bus-stop. Which hotel? That cheap one up in Harlem. He stood under the shelter of the bus-stop. He tried to find a spot out of the bucketing rain. He looked down at his shoes, saw water running around them, rippling around them.
What a night.
What a day.
Thirty-six tomorrow. Seventy-two if he counted T2. But he couldn't. T2 wasn't him.
The hotel he was going to sucked. It had cockroaches. It was full of alcoholic smokers, and Toby was neither, not alcoholic or smoker. Both options held a certain attraction right now that they hadn't had in the past. A bottle of gin? Down it, and drown his sorrows in hangover and oblivion?
Would T2 make love to Celine? Of course he would. He knew he himself would, and T2 was him.
Kill T2? Maybe.
Kill Celine?
The bus arrived at the bus-stop, spraying water over his trousers. The door opened. Toby stepped onto the bus. The driver said, "Hey, what are you doing on my bus?"
"It's raining."
"Get off."
Toby looked at him, and felt the apathy of the depressed. He got back off the bus. The bus-driver wouldn't let him on a bus? In the rain?
***
T1 stumbled into the smelly room. He felt around the wall for the light switch. The light caused the cockroaches to scurry for cover, leaving the room almost as they had found it, except that Toby knew they'd been there.
One particularly big specimen sat stubbornly in the middle of the not-so-white bedsheets.
Toby took his shoe off, and smacked the cockroach. The cockroach waddled off unharmed, protected by the softness of the bed.
A big muddy footprint marked the impact point of the shoe on the bed.
"For fuck's sake", said Toby.
He put down his bag, threw his clothes off onto the decrepit dresser near the draw. He turned out the light, threw himself on the bed naked, and began to masturbate himself to sleep.
***
The alarm clock went off. T1 scrambled through the darkness to turn it off. 6:30am.
He climbed out of bed, threw his still-wet but now cold clothes on, tied his shoelaces, and threw his bag on his back.
He splish-sploshed to the door in the still-wet shoes.
He locked the door behind him and made his way downstairs.
***
T1 pushed the door open to Burger Magic, and felt the warmth of the heated diner breathe life onto him.
He looked around for himself, but couldn't see himself anywhere.
He walked up to the counter shivering from the morning coldness, and ordered a muffin and a coffee.
He sat down near the window and looked out into the blackness.
T1 liked mornings. He enjoyed sitting in Burger Magic in the morning watching the world go past. It was calm. It was his morning. He owned the street. He watched it from his warm comfortable vantage point. He watched people walking, trudging, through the cold on the way to work.
T2 said, "Hi T1". T1 turned to T2. He smiled weakly.
"Hi T2. You know I'm sorry about this."
T2 sat down, "Yeah."
"You got the chick, you get work today."
"Sure."
T2 looked out the window. He said, "It's nice here."
"Yeah."
"Let's sit a while."
"We should be perfect partners."
"We think the same things."
"Boring right?"
T2 got up and walked to the counter. He came back with a muffin and coffee.
T1 looked at the muffin and coffee, and said nothing. What was there to say? "Oh wow what a coincidence ,we like the same things?". Nonsense.
T1 said, "You know this could be fun."
T2 said, "You're taking Celine tonight?"
"Yeah."
"Right."
T2 took a bite of burger. T1 watched as T2 savored the flavor of the ham and cheese in his mouth. He said, "The hotel sucks."
T2 said, "Yes."
"I stayed in that place in Harlem."
T2 said, "Yes, it sucks."
T2 said, "Right, I need to go to work. What are you doing today T1?"
"I dunno. Maybe see Celine?"
"She's working."
"Maybe for lunch."
"That'll be strange."
T1 finished his muffin and scrunched the papers up. He placed it on the tray. He said, "Fuck."
T2 said, "See you later T1."
"Yeah."
T2 stood up and walked to the door, and out into the morning blackness.
***
T1 sat in Burger Magic and watched as T2 walked away down the street.
A holiday. This could be good. Half the money, but holiday. He just scraped by as it was.
Lie in bed? Stay here? Walk around the park?
T1 decided to go to the bookshop and read for a while.
This was quite cool actually.
***
Night two.
T1 walked into Celine's flat. He left the umbrella in the corner. Celine called, "Is it raining outside?"
"Yeah."
"Remember the umbrella."
"Fine..." He picked the umbrella back up and carried it through to the front-room with him.
Celine stood there in sexy lingerie. She said, "You were bad last night."
T1 looked at Celine. The feeling of nausea, of wanting to throw up came back to him. He said, "You look awesome Celine."
"Do you want me?"
"Yes of course."
Her shoulders slumped a little. She sat down on the armchair. She was pudgy and overweight, and T2 had been having sex with her. For some reason T1 found that slightly repulsive.
He avoided her gaze.
She said, "What's wrong Toby?"
"Nothing. Is dinner ready?"
***
Night three.
T2 walked into Celine's place. He carried his umbrella through into the living room. Celine stood glaring at him with her hand's on her hips. She was wearing old jeans, and wellies.
T2 smiled, "You look interesting."
"You didn't like me yesterday."
Interesting, had T1 not done anything yesterday? T2 smiled slightly.
T2 said, "You look hot in wellies." His eyes flashed at her, sparkled.
Celine smiled at him timidly, "You prefer wellies to lingerie?"
"I love wellies, and I love you."
"Oh Toby, you are cute sometimes." She walked forward and put her arms around him, hugged him to her.
***
Night four.
T1 walked into the lounge. Celine was smiling at him, standing in old jeans and wellies. This was getting seriously weird. What was T2 doing? What was with the old wellies? Celine looked at him, looking like she thought she was being seductive.
Celine said, "What's going on Toby?"
T1 said nothing, then, "Oh nothing", sulkily. T2 was somehow winning out here. How? Why? They were the same person.
Celine said, "Something wrong at work dear?" She came over to him and rubbed his shoulders.
T1 said, "Oh I don't know. It's complicated." He shrugged her hands off his shoulders.
Celine said, "Last night you were horny and hot. Today you're distant. I feel strange."
"I like you Celine, I..."
"You like me? What?"
"Love, I meant love", but he looked down, didn't meet her gaze.
She said, "What's happening at work?"
"Oh.... stuff". T1 didn't want to talk about it. He wanted to run away, run away from the strange humiliation of coming home to Celine after T2 had fucked her, seduced her.
Humiliated by his own clone. Well, it could be worse he supposed. How?
***
Night six.
T1 walked into Celine's house. He was furious, angry, humiliated.
He walked into the living room. Celine looked at him in jeans and wellies, uncertainly.
T1 stalked up to her, grabbed her, pushed her to the floor. He was tired of this humiliation. He would show her.
Celine said, "What are you doing!"
T1 pushed her down, and tugged on her jeans, dragging them off with her panties and the boots.
Celine said, "Hey!"
T1 tore down his trousers and pants. His penis sprang free. He pushed himself against Celine. She was dry. He spat on his hands and lubricated her. He forced himself inside of her.
Celine pushed against him. She punched him in the face. T1 grabbed her arms and forced them backwards, held them against the ground.
***
T2 sat down in front of T1. He looked at T1. T1 looked back at T2, quietly, guiltily. T1 knew he'd done something bad, unforgivable, and what he wanted most of all was forgiveness, to undo it, to go back to before he'd raped Celine.
T2 said, "I'm sorry."
T1 said, "I snapped."
T2 said, "I told Celine."
"I know."
"I had to."
T1 said, "I know." T1 took a sip of coffee. He put the coffee in a paper cup down. T1 said, "What happens now?"
T2 said, "Celine is a mess."
T1 said, "Sure."
T2 said, "She doesn't want to see you again T1."
T1 said, "That makes sense."
T2 said, "What will you do?"
What would he do? Fucking kill T2 that's what. Or not. Or... What would he do? Run away? Work illegally? Carry on sharing his life with T2, just not his girlfriend?
T1 said, "Find a new girlfriend I suppose."
T2 said, "It's not what I wanted."
T1 said, "I know."
T1 watched T2 eating scrambled eggs. T2 was eating scrambled eggs today. T1 bit into his muffin.
T1 said, "I'm sorry."
T2 said, "Sure."
T1 said, "You need to go to work right?"
"Yeah."
"See you tomorrow T2."
"Sure." T2 got up. T2 said, "Later T1."
"Sure."
***
T1 sat in the cafe looking out into the rain falling outside. No-one knew about T2 except himself and Celine. T2 had taken his girlfriend. T2 could have just gone away and created a new life for himself. T2 was the clone after all. What right did T2 have to take T1's girlfiend away? To take T1's life away?
And so patronising, and condescending.
T1 took a sip of coffee and looked out into the darkness, into the coldness permeating the night-time.
***
A knock on Toby's door. T1 shouted, "Who is it?"
T2 shouted, "It's me."
T1 said, "Just a minute!" This was it. This was the time. T1 took the injector out of the draw, checked the cartridges were firmly attached. He held it in his right hand, and walked to the front door.
T1 stood on his right hand side of the front door, with the injector behind his back. He opened the door with his left hand, and gestured to T2, "Good to see you T2. Do come in."
T2 looked at him suspiciously. T2 said, "Good to see you T1." He frowned at T1 then walked in.
T1 brought the injector against T2's neck and fired. Fluid injected into T2's neck.
T2 turned towards him, said "Fuck!", put his left hand against his neck to feel what happened. He smashed T1 in the face with his right fist. T1 held the injector behind him, trying to make sure T2 couldn't get it. The last thing he wanted was to be injected himself. A few punches to the face was ok. T2 threw his body into T1. T2 started to punch T1 in the face, with his right fist, with his left fist. T2 said, "What the fuck do you think you are doing T1?"
T1 said nothing, took the blows, felt the pain. He vaguely tried to shield himself with his left hand.
T2 said, "What's that behind your back?"
T1 said nothing. He tried to hide the injector further behind his back.
T2 looked over T1's shoulder. T2 said, "It's a fucking injector. Fuck." The world started to spin crazily for T2. He punched T1, but the blow missed, and his fist thumped into the concrete wall. T2's knuckles felt pain. T2 felt there was more in store than a bit of pain if he passed out. He pulled T1 towards him and reached for the injector gun.
T1 used his left hand to pull T2 backwards by the collar collar, pulling the collar into T2s neck. T2 looked woozy. T2 said, "Wazzup T? Howzit?". T1 pulled T2 by the neck and threw T2 on the floor. T2 lay there moving a little, in an undirected way.
T1 closed the door.
***
Celine picked up a cube of succulent juicy meat with her fork. She said, "It's not often you cook for me Toby."
Toby smiled nonchalantly, "Got to do my bit. How do you like it?"
"What is it?"
"Venison."
"What? Really?" She looked at the cube of meat curiously. Venison? Interesting. It tasted really strong, a dark meat. She said to Toby, "Thanks Toby. You are a great cook!"
"Thanks"
Celine leaned over and kissed Toby on the cheek. T1 felt this was better, everything was back in its place. All that nonsense finished with, done, tidied up.
Celine said, "Let's go to bed afterwards."
T1 smiled at Celine, "Sure!". No more illicit sex between T2 and Celine. No more covert meetings in Burger Magic at 7 each morning. Gone was thinking about Celine having sex with T2. Gone would be the patronizing, condescending remarks from T2 in the morning about how sorry he was.
***
After the meal, T1 said, "Excuse me. Back in two minutes."
"Sure Toby. Be quick!" Celine leaned across the table and invited Toby to kiss her on the lips.
T1 kissed Celine on the lips. He stood up and made his way to the toilet. Back to real life. No more worries about being caught.
Celine got up and looked around Toby's apartment. She hadn't been here for ages. She preferred her own really. Toby's was grimy, dirty.
She wandered into the kitchen, and opened the fridge, looked around what was inside. Moldy bread, ugh. How hard was it to throw things out before they went bad?
She walked to the deep-freeze and lifted the lid. It was full. That was a rarity. She lifted the cuts of meat inside. Toby must have bought an entire deer. She lifted the cuts of meat and peered at them. Venison huh? She pulled out a cut from lower down. It had hair on. She pulled it out and twisted it. It had Toby's face. Celine dropped the head and stumbled backwards. She knocked her head on the cupboard behind her and fell on the floor in a faint.
***
T1 unlocked the door of the toilet, and stepped out. What was that crashing and banging? Where was Celine?
He went into the kitchen. He saw T2's head on the floor, lying next to Celine's body. Was she dead? He knelt down and put his ear next to her mouth to listen. She was breathing.
Celine shouted, "Guuuu". She kneed T1 in the groin, and pushed him away from her. She stood up and backed away from Toby towards the door. She turned away. Toby threw himself at her. "Where are you going?"
"Toby."
Toby kept hold of her. He said, "I didn't mean for this to happen".
Celine brought a can of pepperspray in front of his face. His eyes filled with burning liquid.
Toby said, "Ow! Fuck!" He put his hands to his face. He felt Celine pulling away from him. He grabbed her in the blackness, held onto her. She screamed "Let go of me!" He kept his hold on her. She struggled against him.
He punched her, "Stop! I didn't mean this to happen."
T2's head rolled into Celine.
Something struck T1's forehead. He heard a bang. He smelt cordite. The world started to fade away, become a distant thing. He smiled to himself, it was all over.
As his senses shut down, he heard a second gunshot, and then nothing.
***
Copyright Hugh Perkins 2009